Friday, 1 May 2015

Paper Panda And The Unfortunate Incident With The Concentrated Juice

Last week we travelled to Stoke on Trent for the Bargain Hunt audition. We were very super nervous but excited too because we've been Bargain Hunt nerds, sorry, fans since it first aired with the lovely David Dickenson. We always thought we could totally do it and buy lots of wonderfully weird things to sell at auction and make enough money to go into early retirement, or at least enough to get a Mr Whippy on the way home.
There were eight couples altogether, some really nice, and infinitely more unusual/interesting than us, but as only four get to go through to the show I'm not reet keen on our chances to be honest. We did a mock bonus buy reveal which went okay (it was a Mickey Mouse spoon worth a fiver) but when it came to the practise 'Tim' interview I totally fluffed it and seemed to lose the ability to put a sentence together.
"Hello, I'm Louise and I cut paper and am also called Panda and and and...I like animals with clothes on...riding bikes and such...maybe wearing a jolly hat...?" *sweat drips from face as dayglo red fleece makes you feel like you're standing in a small, low budget microwave* "...and I like cake".
Mr P: "I like, um...sculpting and dead things".
So, I'm not sure we'll get on the show as we made a bit of a corn beef hash of things, but it was a proper jolly day!

Also this week, I worked on a rather large therefore scruffy design that if it works out will wrap around a new posh cup. Now I've said it, it will probably be totally poo, but the intention is there. I got up before midday and everything...
In other totally unrelated news, imagine the headline:
"Paper Panda And The Unfortunate Incident With The Concentrated Juice"
I'm a very well hydrated bear after accidentally drinking a litre bottle of cranberry concentrated juice yesterday thinking it was one of those snazzy high tech energy drinks. Yup, a full bottle, I am THAT stupid. Rapidly chugged eight bottles of Evian in a vain attempt to dilute it in my tummy and by jumping up and down I managed to not only look like a total divvi but also created an unusual sloshing sound much to the delight of my cat.
The following seven hours were spent on the loo. I did catch up with Word Brain, though...

New in the shop this week - stunning prints taken from the original sketches handdrawn by Mr.P
Mr P was given 4 words to make into each miniature illustration that led to this amazing array of different drawings, often featuring objects that wouldn't ever usually be seen together such as a hen nesting on a pile of pencils.
These five designs are only available for 1 month, so don't miss out!

One cup (!) design:
10 hours
3 Adam & Joe pod casts
37 blades
2 hares
1 leftover bottle of water from The Unfortunate Cordial Incident
1 Roast dinner at Nanny P's
1 badger
1 piece of 160gsm hammered paper
5 Adam Ant Songs
7 Cokes
84 chewing gums
1 episode of Bargain Hunt
1 overused rubber (Helix Oxford)
2 broken nails
2 pencils (HB and 3B)
1 bum dance to Go Do by Jonsi
1 conversation where I try to convince TimSam to do a shampoo advert

Today I...
- Celebrated Chewy's big one birthday!
- Made some ickle tiny papercuts.
- Got 68 points for 'earlier' in Scrabble.
- Had curry on jacket potato for dinner.
- Made a papercut cat with a tiny gold mouse inside.
- Switched from full fat Coke to Curiosity Cola for the day (yum!).
- Wore my flip flops for the first time in 2015.
- Was very jealous of TimSam's hair which looked particularly salon fresh today. (Look out for TimSam's Beauty Tips in the next newsletter!).
- Painted my nails pink but shall continue to take photos of my cuts in progress in unusual ways until the two nails I broke grow back.
- Listened to 'Betty Davis Eyes' on repeat for 35 minutes until I was convinced that I do indeed have Betty Davis eyes (not that I'd know, I haven't checked).
- Missed the Mr Whippy van (that constitutes a day of dieting then really, doesn't it?)
- Wrote this post then...*looks into the future* watches Bargain Hunt

The Rock and roll lifestyle of a panda wink emoticon

Until next week folks, over and out!

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