Wednesday, 23 April 2014

April 2014

April 2014 has totally sucked donkey balls. Honestly it's been ruddy awful! But you don't get a rainbow without any rain, huh? Everything comes right in the end and all that jazz.
I have left Facebook! Well, the social side, anyway. My old profile is still there as are the thousands of photos accumulated over the many years I've been glued to it, but I personally have cut the strings and walked away. And it feels good.
I joined Facebook in 2006- ish? I became one of the addicted and have spent more hours than I care to imagine on Facebook. My friends are inside my computer and I run my business from there, too. What's not to love? Well...people really. Where there is the internet you get people who hide behind their screens and the trolls came out to play, amongst other things. You can recieve 298073863 nice comments but there's always the few that really like to piss on your bonfire, and they are the ones that stick in your brain. Uggh!
In April the Paper Panda Facebook page passed 100,000 likers. Wow. And so we rejoiced! I gave away a free original cut on my personal profile to the person that guessed what day we'd hit the milestone and it was really exciting, especially as it was Dave's birthday who guessed correctly (he chose a Dormouse cut in the end).
Behind the scenes Paper Panda has grown. I do still pop on the FB page to see everyone as I'm too attached NOT to, but generally I now have Julie, Emily and Vicky who are all looking after the page and emails for me which leaves me to....cut paper! I've left my personal Facebook so never get group notifications, my feed isn't full of five million pages, I'm not distracted and it's BLISS. I do miss my friends, it's like something huge is missing, but I
Nobody contacts me to tell me they hate me. Nobody contacts me to ask for donations. Nobody contacts me to tell me somebody is copying me or selling my designs. True enough, nobody contacts me to tell me my nails look nice today, but you can't have everything, right?
So I have looooads of time on my hands. I don't do anything but cut paper which is why I seem so prolific - I AM. I don't go out, don't drink, don't smoke, don't have hobbies, don't do housework, don't...behave like a regular human, I suppose, haha...all I do is cut paper to the point of obsession from morning through til bedtime. So now I have more time there are loads of original cuts - huzzah! 
I have been able to have early nights. I read a magazine on the loo instead of updating my status. I have been on four, yes FOUR dog walks so far (I really DON'T go outside unless I have to, usually!). Last weekend we went to York, didn't have internet access and THAT WAS OKAY. There is life outside Facebook....and it is sweet.
Will I ever go back? I don't know. I like this protective bubble. There may be WW3 going on and I'd have no idea. My mojo is coming back. Maybe I'll....write a letter? Or a book?
Nah...I'll just cut more paper *twirls scalpel*....


  1. Hi,

    I just wanted to leave a comment here to let you know that I totally understand how you feel in all this, I currently run the blog out of the loop, over the years I have done many crafts and tried to make a go of it online (with many different blogs). I have made a few things and people have pulled me up and said its a copy of such a persons work. Even though I had no idea they had done something similar, it is never my intention to copy, i just wouldnt but you hit the nail on the head, there are only so many ideas you can have and sometimes they cross and look similar, the online handmade craft world is HUGE its hard to be truly unique.

    I found this blog post really comforting, I totally relate to "I myself am a bit of a wuss, see, a bit wonky and a big bag of anxiety" and all I ever want to do is craft, i am also the same with "I don't go out, don't drink, don't smoke, don't have hobbies, don't do housework, don't...behave like a regular human, I suppose, haha..."

    Its just who I am, a creative soul content in anything craft, I think you have done so well with paper panda, I recently bought your DIY kit and I am loving it! I almost go into a meditation, I seem to forget everything in the concentration.

    Anyway I wont ramble on, I just wanted to say thanks, this blog post made me feel 100 times better about myself, I hope you continue with your stunning designs and not let April 2014 bring you down.

  2. Sorry to read of this hell you have been going through. Wishing you all the best and enjoy your freedom :-)

  3. That sounds like bliss! May have to try it one day, I know I spend too much time on fb, it's not healthy! Well done for being able to cut the strings!

    1. Ps, I didn't mean your month from he'll was bliss... :-/ more cutting yourself off from the Internet and immersing yourself in what you love. Xxx

  4. I am so sorry you went through something so vile and wrong. I completely understand your need to back away from FB. Your work is you and that's OK. Be who you are and be happy. Don't give away your joy! I'm a fan and I'll stick around wherever you may be. Enjoy your bubble, everyone could use one sometimes.

  5. I'm so sorry you had to go through such an awful time. It was wrong and hurtful. I can understand your need for a "bubble". I think everyone should keep one, just in case. Take care of yourself, don't give away your joy! I'll be your friend, I can use more myself. You have lots of supporters who love your work, and through it, you. Enjoy your creative life, you are so lucky to be able to do what you love. Not many people are. "Hugs" from me in the USA.

  6. Panda, I've been trying to comment but It's not working. If this gets through, I'm so sorry you have had these troubles. Don't let anyone steal your joy ! I think everyone should keep a bubble close by for those times that require rest, solitude, reflection. You have many friends and supporters. As an admirer of your immense talent, stay off Facebook and follow your heart and your fingers ! Not many people get to do what they love every single day. You are blessed.

  7. hi sweetie! glad to hear you are ok - and doing brilliant without FB - im kinda like you in a lot of ways - most of my contact with people it thru the 3 Ws!! I admire you and wish you all the luck in the world! don't forget us all but enjoy the peace you are feeling - if it changes you know we are always here! love all your work still and always will! thank you for your inspiration and I hope may 2014 is better than the beginning of April was! from one lou to another x

  8. Louise, its berm a while since I caught up on your blog and have never commented before but just wanted to say a few things. My mom finally started her Paper Panda DIY kit in April and just so you know, she loves it! (What a thoughtful daughter I am for buying it for her and opening her eyes to your world of paper cutting #bigsmiles) and all that money you raised for the teenage cancer trust in April was fabulous! So from one fairly normal person to another, your April didn't turn out so bad after all ;-) #findapossitiveineverynegative
    Keep up the excellent work you do xx